The gods have decreed Earth shall be destroyed because true love no longer exists. Evian, the Goddess of Love, is still in our corner, and to prove the other gods wrong she has descended to Earth to find true love. That's easier said than done, however, since the gods made her leave her body behind and appear as nothing more than a head in a flowerpot. Personally, I think Her is a better disembodied love story, but this is a close second. Caring for a woman's potted head is every bit as creepy as it sounds.
You can tickle, pinch, hit, hold, and of course kiss her.
You can dress her up in different hats and jewelry, or place her in different locations around your house. All of these things will affect a litany of personality meters, ranging from 'goodwill' to 'sensibility' and the game's art style will change based on her mood. There are also, apparently, non-potted plant woman you can date, but if you're not here to pervert your love of botany with dating then why even play this game?
Sometimes romance can bloom out of tragedy. It was 12 years ago, after your mother died during surgery due to an unreported error, that you first hatched your vengeful plot. You would study in the medical field, get hired as a nurse at the hospital where your mom died, find whoever it was that let her die due to negligence, and murder him yourself. What you didn't account for in your master plan was falling in love along the way. I don't care who you are - that's a damn intriguing premise, and Kiss of Revenge does even more to invite players in by offering the prologue for free on iOS and Android.
From there, you buy individual unlocks depending on which hunky guy you've decided to romance: And no matter which hot hospital worker you choose, the simple thought exercise of giving up revenge and embracing forgiveness in the face of love is fascinating.
Here's a line you won't hear too often: You barely get a chance to take in the cold, Norse-inspired kingdom of Niflheim before undead men start longing for your heart. It's up to you whether you want to court heartthrobs like the smug King Jean, a steampunk zombie named JJ, and a flamboyant socialite by the name of Orlando.
Anyone with an appreciation for the occult will get a kick out of Niflheim's supporting cast, including a skeleton who acts as your love guru and a horned Frankenstein's-monster type whose pieced-together body parts induced a case of split personalities. And even if such macabre ideas don't excite you, the absolutely gorgeous gothic art style and beautiful use of color make for an enchanting aesthetic.
If you move to a place called Meat Log Mountain, you ought to be mentally prepared for a certain kind of atmosphere. That is to say, if you're not a burly dude with an appreciation for bears - not referring to the woodland creature - then you might have trouble fitting in with the lumberjack locals. Luckily for our hero Thaddeus Cub, the town's new doctor, his hulking physique and willingness to closely inspect the crotches of man, demon, and orc alike make him the perfect fit for the Meat Log community.
This isn't so much a dating sim as it is a tale of a doctor having raucous, unethical sex with all of his muscular, uncircumcised patients, but the free love regardless of race sends a powerful message of acceptance. The three 'daddy' characters you can seduce all have extensive backstories, and there's even an entire mythos surrounding Meatorion, the god of Meat Log Mountain river.
This game is actually the first in a series, which is fortunate for anyone who wants to explore the area beyond the confines of the local clinic.
What that means in regards to gameplay is, your primary goal is to win the heart of your cute classmate: Is that so wrong? Look, if you've got a problem with your in-game human hero Ichitarou chasing after the cricket girl Kokoro, then let's just label you as an intolerant bigot and move on.
However, if you primarily look for chitinous exteriors and large antennae in your perfect match, Creature to Koi Shiyo! There's even a first-person kissing scene tongue no doubt included and the oops-I-walked-in-on-you-changing gag those mandibles - be still, my heart!
I'm not saying it's for everyone, but by my estimation, Kokoro is one of the select few insects I'd consider having intercourse with. Your parents got divorced; it sucks, but it happens. Then your mom re-married, and guess what? You now have 13 step brothers. Also, you're maybe kind of attracted to them. Such is life in Brothers Conflict, an otome dating sims aimed at the female demographic extravaganza. Vaguely incestuous romance is one thing - but 13 brothers?! What are the odds!? Having that many dudes pining for the same girl is already a complicated situation, but when all parties involved are technically siblings, things get really hairy.
On top of all that, there seems to have been some sexual tension between the brothers before you even arrived on the scene. What I wouldn't give to get invited to an Asahina family Christmas party. Supports the love between: You and female versions of notable historical figures. If only you were born in the 15th century. If only you could get to know Ferdinand Magellan on a deep, personal level. If only Ferdinand Magellan looked like a nine-year-old girl in a skintight one-piece swimsuit.
Have you often caught yourself thinking these wistful thoughts?
Then Eiyuu Senki is your dream come true - a game where you play as a brave leader, strengthening your nation's forces by doing the dirty with legendary names from throughout history. Oh, and they've all transformed into of-age girls who look like tweens.
Have you ever wanted to know the loving caress of Billy the Kid, listen to Napoleon whisper sweet nothings in your ear, or fondle Julius Caesar's E-cup breasts? In Eiyuu Senki, you can rewrite history to do just that. As an aside, the images that are now cached into my browser history as a result of researching Eiyuu Senki's waifus will inevitably lead to my unemployment and possible arrest.
No, we're not saying that dating someone with a disability is the same as courting a pigeon - stick with us on this one. As both a game and a thing that exists in the world, Katawa Shoujo teaches an invaluable lesson: Our story starts on 4chan, which you might assume is incapable of producing anything heartfelt or genuinely touching. After striking up a discussion around a sketch of cute girls who all happen to have disabilities, a handful of 4chan users banded together to turn the concept into a dating sim. It sounds like a recipe for demeaning fetishism, but the final product is anything but.
Katawa Shoujo may be a game about a young guy surrounded by a harem of disabled girls, but it treats the circumstances with the utmost respect.
Its message is clear: Disabled people are just people, with talents, flaws, and aspirations just like any of us. It just goes to show that some 4chan regulars are capable of feeling and evoking genuine empathy. Dress this bride for the wedding of the season in cute and chic, pink and black wedding gowns. Accessorize with a goth flavored crown and she's read to wed!
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